Need Not
INT. DAVE’S APARTMENT - AFTERNOON
Dave is on the couch, drinking coffee, wearing sweatpants. Mike sits across from him, halfway through a burger, grease on his fingers. The vibe is chill, stoner-style, with a faint haze of laziness hanging in the air.
MIKE
(chewing)
You ever notice how every time you quit something, you end up being even more obsessed with it?
DAVE
(Smirking)
Oh yeah, man. I got this whole thing with coffee right now. I quit for like, what? A week? Felt like a king. But now...
(He gestures to the half-empty coffee cup in front of him.)
MIKE
(Laughs)
Wait, you quit coffee again? Why didn’t you tell me? You were doing the whole "better than thou" act again, weren’t you?
DAVE
(Sighs, sheepishly)
Dude... let me tell you this story. I was on the bus last week, right?
MIKE
Here we go.
DAVE
So, I’m sitting there, feeling like the f***ing Buddha of caffeine because I hadn’t touched coffee for six days—SIX days, man. I’m just sitting on the bus, like, "I’m above all these fools." And then... I see this guy, right? He jumps off the bus at his stop, and he's SPRINTING down the street to get his coffee fix. Like, booking it.
MIKE
(Laughing)
What, like he's about to miss his life's mission?
DAVE
Exactly! Dude’s running like the coffee shop’s about to disappear if he doesn’t get there in the next thirty seconds. And I’m watching him, thinking, "Man, I’m so glad I don’t need coffee like that anymore. What a sucker."
Mike bursts out laughing, spilling a bit of his burger.
MIKE
(Laughing hard)
So you're just sitting there, high and mighty, watching this guy scramble for his latte like some sort of enlightened monk?
DAVE
(Laughs)
Oh yeah, I’m all like, "This guy... I’ve transcended, I’m free. Look at me, I’ve broken the chains."
Mike mimics drinking from an invisible cup, mock-solemn.
MIKE
"I’ve ascended."
DAVE
(Shakes head)
Exactly. So then, fast forward to today... Here I am, man, right back where I started. Drinking coffee like nothing ever changed. I judged that poor bastard, and now I AM that bastard.
Mike snorts and leans forward, pointing at Dave’s coffee cup.
MIKE
Dude, you’re literally him now! You’re probably two days away from running down the street for your fix. Maybe sprinting past the same dude, both of you sweating for your caffeine like it’s an Olympic event.
DAVE
(Laughing)
I swear, it’s a loop, man! Every time I quit something, I get this huge ego boost. I’m like, "Oh yeah, I’m better than everyone now." Then BAM—right back to it. It's like the universe is slapping me in the face.
MIKE
(Taking a bite)
Bro, that’s life though. Every time you think you’ve leveled up, you get slapped back to reality, like, “Nope, same idiot.”
DAVE
(Raising his coffee cup)
To the cycle of quitting and failing.
MIKE
(Salutes with his burger)
To hypocrisy, man.
They both laugh, leaning back on the couch, the absurdity of the situation hanging in the air for a beat.
DAVE
But it’s more than that, right? Like, you ever notice how when you quit something, you suddenly notice everyone else doing it? Like, the second I quit coffee, it’s like the whole world is obsessed with it. People lining up for their morning hit, slurping it down, acting like they can’t function without it.
MIKE
(Laughs)
Yeah, dude. It’s like when I tried quitting weed for a bit. Suddenly every single movie, every song, every conversation was about weed. The world was rubbing it in my face, like "Look at all the fun you're missing!"
DAVE
Right?! And then you just get this dumb superiority complex for a while, thinking you’re above it all. Meanwhile, deep down, you’re dying to take that first hit again.
MIKE
(Grinning)
And the second you give in...
DAVE & MIKE
(Both)
Boom! Right back in the game.
They laugh, the familiarity of the cycle hitting harder now that they’ve vocalized it.
DAVE
But like... why do we keep doing this to ourselves? It’s like we’re in this never-ending loop, quitting, getting cocky, failing, and then pretending we’ve learned something. But have we?
MIKE
(Pondering)
Nope. We just like the idea of being better, but we’re not built for it. We like the idea of winning, but man, the follow-through? Nah.
DAVE
(Laughs)
Yeah, like I get this rush when I quit, like I’m some kind of hero. But then reality hits, and I’m no better than the guy sprinting for his coffee.
MIKE
(Shrugs)
At least we’re self-aware about it. That’s gotta count for something, right?
DAVE
(Grinning)
Yeah, maybe. Or maybe it just makes us even bigger idiots, ‘cause we know better but we still keep doing the same s***.
Mike raises his burger again.
MIKE
To knowing we’re idiots... and still doing it anyway.
Dave raises his coffee cup, chuckling.
DAVE
To the loop.
They clink their “drinks,” settling into the ridiculousness of their shared realization. The room feels lighter, their self-awareness somehow comforting despite the cyclical nature of their behavior.
FADE OUT.